The Portfolio

A N00b's Investment Journey

A portfolio implies diversification. A n00b stock investor does not diversify; they simply YOLO into $N00BSTOCK.

Phase 1: First Investment. (Completed)

The n00b investor has successfully achieved their primary goal of buying their first stock without reading any research. This milestone was reached immediately upon discovering the "Buy" button. No financial advisor required.

Phase 2: Continue HODLing. (In Progress)

Building on the success of Phase 1, the n00b investor is now focused on the challenging task of not panic selling during every market dip. Early results show diamond hands forming, with confusion levels holding steady at maximum.

Phase 3: Still N00b Investing. (Future Goal)

The ambitious long-term vision involves maintaining n00b investor status indefinitely. While other investors may learn technical analysis, the n00b's track record suggests a high probability of eternal buy-high-sell-low strategies.